Time changes, but Apple’s genius bar experience doesn’t

It’s been nearly a year since I blogged here.  Time flies, eh?

Remember when I complained about my terrible time with Apple’s “genius bar” experience?  Same laptop, same shenanigans (mostly).  I needed the machine to do a week long class far from home.  I normally use my smaller MacBook for these classes, but horsepower was emphasized.  So I brought the MacBook Pro.  I didn’t realize it until I got to the city hosting the class, but the laptop was wobbling.  You literally couldn’t lay it on a flat surface and type on it without it wobbling.  Annoying, but not world ending.

There was an Apple Store in the town I was visiting.  They told me to bring it in as a walk-in.  I spent an hour in the zoo known as an Apple Store before I was turned away.  The geniuses weren’t taking any more people.  I wish I knew that before I committed the time.  All the while, I was really hoping it was the pentalobe screws being lose or the internal case snaps not being connected.  I’d seen plenty of these issues doing IT work for a big company.  I almost bit the bullet and attempted a fix myself, but I didn’t want to endanger the AppleCare warranty.

I was able to score an appointment for the following day.  Surprisingly, the appointment time was right on the mark.  Normally, I feel like you wait ~30-60 minutes after your scheduled time.  The genius was pretty confident the battery had swollen.  Unfortunately, they had no top cases (with batteries) on hand.  3-5 days to ship it to Texas and have it return.  If you’re an Apple Joint Venture member you can at least get a loaner.  This isn’t worth $500/year to me.  I ask the genius if I can drop it off the day before I leave for home and have it returned to my local Apple Store.  Nope! It can only return to the originating Apple Store.  Welp.

Rather than dealing with another genius reservation back home, I just had the remote AppleCare folks send a box to my home.  When I returned, I ran a backup – verified said backup – and wiped the machine before sending it off to Texas.  Two days to get there, a day in repair, and two days to make it back to me.  If I didn’t have another machine, I’d be hurting.  Five days is a long time to wait to fix a battery.  The worst part is that I didn’t even have to go to the store to get resolution.  It makes me ponder why the Genius Bar is even a thing for things that are clearly hardware related.  Either stock enough on hand to do common repairs or just divert customers when they book genius bar reservations online or over the phone.

All you do with these in-person “repairs” at the genius bar is piss people off.  If it had to be mailed off anyway, I’d rather have skipped both visits to the Apple Store and just had the box mailed to me.  I suppose in-person gives the opportunity for the less savvy to get backed up or maybe get talking into buying an upgraded machine.  For the more tech savvy, it’s just a time sink and a visit to a very hectic, very crowded, and very noisy environment.

Funny enough, I actually interviewed with Apple the year I posted my original rant.  One of the interviewers actually read it! Disappointingly, while he agreed with me; two of the other interviewers did not.  Full disclosure: I didn’t get the job.  I’m about 99.99% sure me griping had absolutely nothing to do with it.  It is funny to think about though! I’m told retail and corporate are very, very different animals and virtually have zero interaction with one another.

Maybe someday the genius bar experience will make more sense.  Someday…

Dear, Apple: Your store support experiences are terrible!

Last summer, I bought a mid-2015 MacBook Pro Retina that I absolutely love.  The machine doubles as my travel laptop and my primary desktop (in clamshell mode).  I backup using Time Machine to my ZFS backed storage and I keep my Mac fairly pristine.  Recently though, I began experiencing kernel panics that were file system related.  After much head banging, I discovered this was due to a corrupt “sparsebundle” that Time Machine uses.  Unfortunately, my Mac already had its logic board replaced before I made this discovery.

My first trip to the Apple Genius Bar with this Mac was unremarkable.  The service was relatively prompt and the shipping/receiving estimates were on par.  I was able to pickup my laptop and get back on the road fairly quick.  Unfortunately, the refurbished logic board used by Apple’s repair depot had a faulty GPU.  I had moved and swapped several monitors and cables before making this frustrating discovery.  This is honestly why I hate refurbished equipment.  The testing never feels sufficiently rigorous and my luck often leaves me revisiting failed repairs all too often.  The worst was probably going through four iPod Touch units before the store admitted that their refurbs weren’t up to spec and gave me a new-in-the-box iPod.

I return to the store, hoping I can just get a new machine or at least have my existing one repaired in the store.  The Genius exams my videos and stills of the display completely freaking out and doesn’t waste much time.  The machine has to return to the repair center in Texas.  *Sigh.*  Now the trouble begins.  The Genius won’t treat this as a failed repair.  To them, this is like a first attempt.  No need to empathize/sympathize with me.  The Genius writes the machine’s status up in their ticket.  We quickly squabble over two points.  The Genius put that they couldn’t replicate the issue (they didn’t try) and that the machine has scratches and scuffs (it didn’t and was listed as “no damage” on the last repair ticket).  We battle over something that should be relatively simple and the machine is eventually taken back, pending shipment to the repair depot.

For the first time in a long while, I’m leaving Apple negative feedback.  If you botch a repair, you need to make good on it.  You don’t just give standard service and expect the customer to appreciate that you did the bare minimums.  I’m not expecting Apple to listen, but if they do, maybe this will be another point in favor of changing some support policies at the Genius Bar.  If you tried once and failed, you need to help me keep faith in Apple.  I’m not asking for the whole cow, but I am asking for something to prove that my time is at least somewhat valued by the store staff.

You’re killing me, HP

UPDATE: HP Case Managers made good on their word.  I spoke with someone who was knowledgeable, technical, and well-versed in the English language.  We agreed it was probably some sort of firmware issue or engineering defect.  He promised to research the issue and get back to me the following day.  And you know what? He actually did.  They identified a set of serial numbers with the EWS issue and sent me a brand new unit that would not be prone to the problem.  Sounds like a win to me!

I posted awhile back about my old HP printer finally biting the dust.  The replacement Photosmart 7520 worked rather well.  It had a document feeder, a duplexer, and a decent photo printing capability.  Sadly, its printhead released the magic smoke a few weeks ago.  Since the printer was still in warranty, I opted to have it replaced.  Within two weeks, I had a semi-new (refurbished) 7520 on my doorstep.

This 7520 printed like a champ, but its web scan, even its entire web interface would not respond.  The service was listening on port 80.  I could get the initial banner off of it.  Try as I might though, I could not get the damn thing to load up the embedded web server (EWS).  It’d all eventually fail with a timeout or a 405 not allowed error.  Even with a basic “GET /” request.  Calling and chatting (online) with tech support, they eventually decided to replace the printer again.

So here we are on replacement number two and guess what? The EWS still doesn’t respond! Argh! At this point the people at HP must think I’m trying to swindle them out of a printer, but they keep me talking with their lowest tier, script reading tech support minions.  Firmware update? netcat, what? At one point they wanted to “remote in” and help me, because it’s clearly an OS issue, not a printer problem, when the printer’s own web server doesn’t respond.  Surely that’s it, right?

Foolish me, I told them my main OS was a Mac.  They want me to go and download their remote desktop helper.  There’s no way in hell I’m letting them run loose on my desktop, so I put them and their app in a VM.  The poor tech is completely baffled by seeing a Windows desktop.  So they transfer me, with no ticket history, to the Windows department.  Well, “Windows” doesn’t want to remote in when I have the 405 error or the hung netcat session up.  No, they want to replace the printer again.  But since they haven’t gotten replacement one back, this throws them in an infinite loop.

Whatever happened to tier two or the engineering department? Has anyone at HP actually tested the 7520’s EWS on the varying firmware versions out there? A cursory Google search, and even one of HP’s own support forum, shows other people having this issue.  How many replacement printers and trips to FedEx are they willing to make me go through?

So now I’m here waiting for a call from a “case manager,” hoping they won’t be frightened away by HTTP status codes or words like “firmware” or “embedded web server.”  I’m really hoping its a simple firmware fix, but I’m not going to hold my breath.  A friend with this same printer has a working EWS instance and my original unit had one too.  So clearly something has gone afoul with newer 7520 units.

Maybe HP could simply repair my original unit? Nah, that’d make too much sense…

Don’t take my business for granted

A few months ago, my 4th generation iPod touch‘s home button began to show signs of unresponsiveness.  Since the iPod was still under warranty, I made an appointment with the local Apple Store for service.  I’m always amazed at how busy the Apple Stores are.  There’s never a quiet moment inside these glass enclosures.  The visit to this store was no exception.

After a brief wait, a Genius played with my iPod’s home button for a minute before opting for an instant replacement.  I happily took this iPod home and set out to restore it.  When I got home and powered the iPod, I found the backlight was damaged — the screen was awash with white.  Lame.  I made arrangements to take the iPod back to the store the following week.

The next Genius thought I was clearly smoking crack.  How could one of their perfect refurb iPods have a bad backlight? “We check these things, sir.”  Right… After play scolding me for another minute, she brings out another refurb iPod.  I ask if we can power this one on in the store, “just to make sure.”  The iPod won’t power on.  So much for that factory pre-charge, right? She tells me to take this one home and just let it charge for a bit.  “It’d be incredibly rare to get another bad iPod,” she says.

Well as it turns out, this one’s a dud too! This iPod won’t even hold a charge long enough to power on.  Now I’m irritated.  I call Apple and eventually get in touch with one of the local store managers.  (They briefly tried to shuffle me off to AppleCare.)  “What do you think we should do to make this right,” he asks.  I tell him it’d be great to get a replacement iPod out of retail packaging and not a refurbished unit.  He quickly agrees and I’m, once again, off to the Apple Store.

The Geniuses aren’t very sympathetic.  “There’s just no way we gave you two defective iPods!” I can’t help but detect the underlying loss-prevention tone.  They think there’s some kind of fraud going on, but they replace the iPod as the manager instructs.  I tell the girl, “I just wanted the situation right from the start.”  The first defective refurb should have prompted an immediate retail exchange.  Three trips later should entitle me to “something.”  A $10 iTunes gift card, maybe?

Maybe I sound greedy, but in the past, companies worked hard to keep your business.  When I worked for a mom ‘n pop business, the owners bent over backwards to keep the customer happy.  New parts, store credits, etc.  Now you’re lucky if you get the thing you originally asked for.  I realize Apple’s a huge corporation, but they should never forget their roots or the little guy.

What do you think? Sound off!